Margo Lalich, MPH, BA, RN
Founder/Nurse Consultant/EOL Doula/ADCE
Cannon Beach, OR
When were you last asked, “What does living and ending well mean to you?” It’s rarely a question asked if one is not in a healthcare crisis or approaching the end of their life. The common denominator between humanity is death; we don’t know when or how it will visit us, at least for most of us. We navigate many contradictions in our society about mortality, aging, quality of life, youth, prolonging life, the “miracles” of science, the role of technology, and society's challenges to speak openly about why we wait so long, too long to have these important conversations. The time to have the conversation is not in crisis and fear, but sooner when we have agency over our thoughts and choices. I believe this is a powerful, soulful conversation between generations.
The end-of-life experience, ritual, and making visible what is too often invisible about death and dying are integral to my practice and influenced by the work of Frances Weller and many others, including the End Well Project. As a nurse, EOL doula, daughter, and mother, I’ve been honored and humbled to share end-of-life experiences with patients, community members, and families. I offer a unique understanding of the end-of-life experience for individuals with complex health needs and developmental/intellectual disabilities. As a Death Cafe facilitator, I am committed to holding a safe and inclusive space for normalizing conversations about death and dying.
I received my undergraduate and nursing degrees in Oregon and Washington and a Master of Public Health from the OHSU School of Nursing. I was born in Liberia, W. Africa. My appreciation and deep respect for the cultural influences and rituals at the end of life are influenced by living, traveling, and serving as a disaster/humanitarian response nurse and public health nurse consultant in many countries, including Hawai’i.
I have 30 years of experience working in both the private and public health sectors as a clinical nurse, nurse consultant, and executive leader at the intersection of public health, nursing, and K-12 education in Oregon and Hawai’i. I received both recognition and awards throughout my career as a passionate advocate for the health and well-being of the community. My practice is based on a belief that death and dying and the health and well-being of a community are shared responsibilities; we do this by creating community, connecting systems, and giving voice to what is too often unspoken.
I maintain membership in many professional organizations, including the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA), the National End of Life Doula Association (NEDA), the Oregon Hospice and Palliative Care Association, and the Hospice and Palliative Nurses Association (HPNA). I am a certified trainer by the End of Life Nursing Education Consortium (ELNEC).
Cannon Beach and the North Coast have been my physical and heart since 1988.
When Death Comes
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
--Mary Oliver